You're Engaged! Now Who's Coming? Your Guide to Planning the Perfect Wedding Guest List

December 12, 2025
Weddings

Photography credit: Sarah Lee Welch Weddings

Congratulations—you're engaged! After celebrating the excitement of your proposal and admiring that beautiful ring, reality sets in: there's a wedding to plan. One of the first and most important decisions you'll face is determining who will be there to celebrate with you. Creating your wedding guest list might seem straightforward, but it's often one of the most challenging aspects of wedding planning, filled with considerations about capacity, relationships, and sometimes difficult conversations.

At Spruce Mountain Ranch, we've helped countless couples navigate this process with grace and confidence. Here's your guide to creating a guest list that honors your vision while keeping stress to a minimum.

Where to Start: The Foundation of Your Guest List

Venue Capacity: Your Ultimate Reality Check

Your guest list size will ultimately be determined by your venue's capacity—after all, you can only invite as many people as your chosen space can comfortably hold. The good news? There may be some flexibility depending on your venue setup and seating arrangements.

Your Spruce Mountain Ranch property manager will walk you through the options and limitations for each of our venue spaces, explaining how different configurations—cocktail-style, seated dinner, or theater seating—affect capacity. This constraint is actually easier for some couples to work with: a smaller preliminary guest list gives you plenty of room at a larger venue, while knowing your maximum capacity helps you make informed decisions from the start.

Defining Your Wedding Vision

Before diving into names and addresses, have an honest conversation with your partner about the size and atmosphere you envision for your celebration. Wedding size is relative to every couple—what feels intimate to one might feel small to another.

Do you picture a cozy celebration surrounded by immediate family and your closest friends? Or do you envision a grand gathering that includes everyone from grandparents and college friend groups to your childhood babysitter and distant cousins? Understanding this vision together helps guide every decision that follows.

Identifying Your Must-Have Attendees

Start with your non-negotiables: who are the people you absolutely cannot imagine celebrating without? This typically includes close family, dear friends, and obviously your wedding party. Create your core list with these essential guests, then determine how much room remains for additional invitations.

This core group becomes your foundation, ensuring the people who matter most to both of you are prioritized before you start considering extended family, work colleagues, or acquaintances.

Key Considerations That Shape Your List

The Plus-One and Children Question

Two decisions will significantly impact your final guest count: whether you'll allow plus-ones and whether children are invited. Both require thoughtful discussion with your partner about your priorities and venue capacity.

Plus-ones aren't an automatic promise for every guest. Most couples approach these individually, considering which guests are in long-term, established relationships or are engaged themselves. This personalized approach feels more intentional than applying a blanket rule.

Similarly, inviting children means either making kid-friendly choices for everything from food to music, or being explicit with parents that while children are welcome, the event isn't specifically planned around young guests. If there are certain kids, tweens, or teens you can't picture your day without, decide early what boundaries need to be set and what accommodations you're willing to make.

Managing Realistic Expectations

Here's an important truth: you probably won't be able to invite everyone you initially considered, and not everyone you invite will attend. Weddings are celebrations of two people joining their lives and families together—compromises on both sides are inevitable.

Work together to ensure each of your core groups receives invitations, but understand that venue capacity might mean some difficult choices. And remember, it's rare for couples to receive 100% attendance. Life happens—people juggle responsibilities, family obligations, and countless commitments. Don't take declines personally; they're a normal part of the process.

Navigating the Invitation Politics

Shutting Out External Pressure

Many couples experience pressure from well-meaning family and friends who think certain people "should" be invited. While these conversations can be uncomfortable, remember this fundamental truth: this is your day as a couple.

Whether space is limited or abundant, your invitations should go to people whose presence you genuinely value and who will cherish being part of your celebration. People may intentionally or unintentionally try to influence your guest list, but ultimately, they're not in charge.

One strategy that works for many couples: give each set of parents a specific number of "extra" invitations to distribute as they see fit. This acknowledges their desire to include certain guests while maintaining your control over the majority of your list.

Why Equal Doesn't Always Mean Fair

In an ideal world, couples would split invitations exactly down the middle. Reality is rarely that simple. If one partner has a significantly larger family, they may need more than half the available spots.

Rather than fixating on achieving perfect numerical equality, focus on ensuring both partners' priority guests are included. If extra invitations remain after accommodating your must-haves, allocate them in whatever way makes sense for your unique family dynamics—even if that means an uneven split.

Creating Your Celebration, Your Way

Building your wedding guest list requires balancing practical constraints with emotional priorities, navigating family dynamics with grace, and ultimately trusting your instincts as a couple about who belongs at your celebration.

At Spruce Mountain Ranch, our diverse venue spaces accommodate gatherings from intimate 40-person ceremonies to grand celebrations with up to 500 guests. Our experienced property managers are here to help you understand your options and create the perfect setting for however many loved ones you choose to invite.

Ready to start planning your celebration and explore which Spruce Mountain Ranch venue best fits your guest list vision? Schedule your venue tour today and let us help you create the perfect setting for your perfect guest list.