How to Politely Say “No Kids” at a Wedding

September 05, 2024
Wedding Trends, Weddings

Often considered an unpopular opinion in the world of wedding planning, a “no kid” or “adult-only” wedding definitely has its appeal. But communicating such a decision should be handled delicately. Out-of-town guests—and even locals—with little ones might not handle the news so well if it’s delivered in a brash or insensitive manner.

Unfortunately, navigating this tricky space gracefully can be a bit of a challenge.

At Spruce Mountain Ranch, we see all kinds of weddings: child-friendly, adult-only, and even celebrations limited to children of immediate family. In this guide, we walk through some snippets of wisdom we’ve gathered over the years.

Advantages of Adults-Only Weddings

There are several reasons many couples opt to enforce a “no kids” rule for their wedding:

It ensures a more relaxed, distraction-free celebration.
It allows couples to host a more sophisticated event.
It minimizes logistical concerns (age-appropriate food, activities, etc.).
It reduces the overall cost for the couple.

Sophisticated adults-only wedding reception at Spruce Mountain Ranch

Photo Credit: Katie Corrine Photography

Developing a Communication Strategy

Along with your wedding date and choice of venue, guest list specifications must be one of the first decisions you make. The sooner you can give notice to guests with young ones that you’re planning an adult-only event, the better. Parents—particularly those from out of town—will need time to iron out childcare details.

Unfortunately, it’s safe to bet you’ll get some pushback. Guests may try to guilt you into changing your mind. In reality, your “no kid” boundary may mean some parents just simply cannot attend.

But once you’ve made a decision, do NOT waver.

If you’re inconsistent with your no-child policy, you could risk damaging relationships with friends and family members whose children were left out. There are methods you can employ to avoid offending your loved ones—all while protecting your unique wedding vision.

Wording the Invitations

Your invitations are the first place you’ll need to address your adults-only policy. While the phrasing should be sensitive, it must also be clear and to the point (to avoid confusion).

Here are a few classy ways to tell your guests children are not invited:

“Please note this is an adults-only affair.”
“Join us for an elegant, adult (21 and older) celebration.”
“We would like our special day to be an adult-only occasion.”
“This invitation extends to adults only. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to attend.”
“Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children—thank you for your understanding.”
“As much as we love your kiddos, due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend.”
“Due to limited venue space/venue restrictions, adults only please!”
“We love your little ones, but unfortunately, we are unable to invite children to our wedding.”

If you decide to make any exceptions (say if you’re only including children of the wedding party or immediate family OR inviting children to the ceremony but not the reception), you’ll need to alter your wording slightly.

Here are some additional phrasing examples for unique circumstances:

“We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception.”
“Adult (21 and older) reception to follow.”
“We kindly request to keep this an adult occasion (18+). However, infants under 12 months are welcome.”
“Following an all-inclusive ceremony, please join us for a 6 pm adults-only reception.”
“Children are welcome to attend the ceremony and early reception. However, starting at 7 pm, the wedding will be adults-only.”
“We wish we could include all guests’ children. Unfortunately, due to space limitations, we’re only able to invite immediate family.”

Now, where to place this line of text on your invitation?

While you might not want it to be the first thing your guests read when they open your invite, it needs to be prominent enough so it’s not overlooked.

If children aren’t allowed at any part of the celebration, include that specification on the front of your invitation. However, if you’re only barring children from attending the reception, consider including a separate reception card with those pertinent details.

PRO TIP: When addressing your invitations, only write the specific names of those you’re including in the celebration. For example, you’ll want to write “Bill & Sandra Smith” instead of “The Smith Family.”

Child dancing with a bunch of adults at a Spruce Mountain Ranch wedding

Photo Credit: Callie Riesling Photography

Additional Communication Avenues

To ensure your message is clearly understood by all parties, we recommend including your “no child” policy on your wedding website. It may even be wise to make personal phone calls to guests you know will be affected or particularly sensitive to the policy.

Offering Alternative Options

Want to ensure your loved ones with children can attend? Consider providing some sort of childcare solutions or recommendations. You could include free, professional childcare at the hotel or another part of the venue. Or you could compile a list of well-rated local childcare connections to ease some of the burden on your guests.

Responding to Concerns & Pushback

Regardless, you should expect to face at least slight resistance from families with young children. Remember to be patient and understanding. Childcare is far from inexpensive right now. And arranging the logistics of a night out without children can be a big headache, especially if guests are traveling from out of town.

If you receive negative feedback, avoid getting defensive. Instead, do your best to offer solutions to help your friend or family member find the childcare they need so they can attend.

Then, if your suggestions are still ill-received, kindly apologize that you are unable to accommodate your loved one’s needs. Ultimately, you’ve got to be willing to accept that they just might not be able to join you for your big day.

No matter what, stand firm in your decision. If you cave into family pressure, you’ll just create an even messier situation.

Father dancing with his todler-aged daughter at a Spruce Mountain Ranch wedding

Photo Credit: Callie Riesling Photography

At the End of the Day…

You only get to celebrate your wedding once—sometimes protecting that vision requires you to make hard decisions. Odds are, you’re not going to please EVERYONE, but that is perfectly fine!

Still on the hunt for an elegant Colorado mountain wedding venue? You’ve come to the right place! With a large spread of awe-inspiring indoor and outdoor spaces, Spruce Mountain Ranch is the perfect venue for a relaxed, child-free celebration.

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