What I Wish I Knew Before Planning My “I Do"

If you’re anything like me, planning your wedding feels like stepping into a whirlwind of Pinterest boards, vendor meetings, dress fittings, and well-meaning advice from friends and family. Looking back, there are a few things I wish someone had told me before I dove headfirst into planning the special day. Here are some things to keep in mind while planning your wedding, from a former bride to a future bride.

Perfection Is a Myth — and That’s OK

You’ll quickly learn that not everything will go as planned — and that’s perfectly fine. Your flowers might not arrive in the exact shade you envisioned, or the DJ might play a song you didn’t request. Trust me, no one will notice, and you’ll remember the laughter and joy far more than the hiccups.

Go to Premarital Counseling

Before you dive into seating charts and floral arrangements, consider investing in your relationship through premarital counseling. It’s a chance to strengthen your communication, discuss important topics like finances and future goals, and prepare for life beyond the wedding day.

Photo Credit: Talking Circles Therapy

Get the Big Things Done First

It’s best to tackle the big-ticket items first — your venue, photographer, outfits and catering. These are the backbone of your day and tend to book up quickly. Once you’ve secured these essentials, you can focus on the smaller details without worrying about availability or last-minute scrambling.

Your Day, Your Rules

No matter how much you want everyone to be happy, someone will inevitably have an opinion about your choices. Whether the guest list, menu or dress, remember that your wedding is about you and your partner. It’s OK to prioritize what feels right for you and let go of the pressure to please everyone else.

Everyone will have an opinion about your wedding — what you should wear, how the ceremony should go and even what you should serve for dinner. I wish I’d realized sooner that it’s OK to say “thank you” and stick to what feels authentic to you and your partner. This is your day, and it should reflect you, not someone else’s expectations.

Get Wedding Cancellation Insurance

Life is unpredictable, and having wedding cancellation insurance can be a lifesaver should something unexpected happen. From sudden illnesses to extreme weather, this policy can protect your investment and give you peace of mind. While you hope to never use it, it’s better to be prepared.

Budget for the Unexpected

Weddings are expensive. What I didn’t realize is how quickly small costs add up. Those little extras — favors, last-minute decor, alterations — can eat away at your budget before you know it. Build a “just in case” fund into your budget for those surprises that’ll inevitably pop up.

Don’t Sweat the Guest List Drama

This was a big one for me. Trying to please everyone and including every distant cousin and co-worker can quickly spiral out of control. It’s your wedding, not a family reunion. Keep your guest list for the people who truly matter to you and your partner.

Prepare for All Types of Weather

No matter the season, the weather can be unpredictable. If you’re planning an outdoor wedding, always have a backup plan, like a tent or an indoor space. For colder months, consider providing blankets or heaters to keep your guests comfortable.

Photo Credit: Beach Bride

In the summer, be sure to have water and handheld fans available for guests. You don’t want anyone passing out during your ceremony if it’s too hot. In the winter, blankets are great to have on hand, and they can double as wedding favors. Be sure to also have some warm beverages on the menu.

Take Time to Vet Your Vendors 

Take the time to thoroughly research and vet your vendors before signing contracts. Read reviews, check out their websites, ask for recommendations and meet them in person. These people will play a major role in your big day, so you want to ensure they’re reliable and aligned with your vision. I used Yelp and Google Reviews to check them before making any decisions.

You Can’t Do It All Alone

I thought I could handle everything on my own, but I couldn’t. Whether hiring a planner, leaning on your bridal party or accepting help from family, let people support you. Delegating tasks isn’t a sign of weakness but rather a way to keep your sanity.

Don’t Spend Money You Don’t Have

It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement and overspend on things you “have to have.” However, going into debt for your wedding isn’t worth the stress it can cause later. The average wedding cost approximately $34,000 in 2024, but that doesn’t mean yours needs to as well. Set a budget, stick to it and remember that a meaningful ceremony doesn’t have to cost a fortune.

Take Moments for Yourself

On the big day, everything moves at lightning speed. One thing I wish I’d done was carve out intentional moments to breathe and soak it all in. Whether sneaking away with your partner or just stepping back to watch your loved ones celebrating, remember to be present.

Take Some Time Off Before Your Wedding

In the days leading up to your wedding, give yourself permission to step away from the chaos and recharge. Taking time off can help you relax and focus when the special day arrives. This break can make all the difference, whether spending quiet time with your partner or simply catching up on rest. I took the week of my wedding off work to slow down, get last-minute things organized and spend much-needed time with my partner before the big day.

Enjoy the Process

I was so focused on the wedding itself that I didn’t take enough time to enjoy the planning journey. From cake tastings to DIY projects, these moments are memories in the making, too. Slow down and enjoy them.

Your Marriage Is More Important Than Your Wedding

You may get caught up in the glitz and excitement of planning a wedding — the perfect dress, the dreamy venue and the Pinterest-worthy decor. However, as much as I loved those aspects of planning, I quickly realized the wedding is just one day, while marriage is for life. No amount of fancy centerpieces or curated playlists can replace the trust and commitment you’re creating with your partner.

The Big Picture

If you’re in the thick of planning, let this be your gentle reminder that it’s OK not to have everything figured out. You’re allowed to make mistakes, ask for help, change your mind and choose what you want. Your wedding day is a celebration of love, and it doesn't need to be perfect.

Author bio: Cora Gold is a wedding writer and editor of Revivalist magazine. She aims to inspire couples to achieve the wedding of their dreams. Connect with Cora on LinkedIn, Pinterest and Twitter.