Everything Behind the Engagement: From the Proposal to the Party

Asking for your partner’s hand in marriage is one of life’s biggest decisions. It’s a grand gesture of love you’ll recount for decades, so it’s worth planning whether you propose or accept the ring. Check out the most common stages of an engagement to understand what your future could hold. It’s time to get excited — the rest of your life together is about to begin.

1. Talk About Your Future

In books and movies, proposals often have an air of magic and mystery. One partner feels completely shocked when they see their ring, while the other beams as they pull off their elaborate betrothal. In reality, a proposal may be slightly less surprising, as couples typically decide together when they’re ready to get married. These conversations don’t take away from the romance of the proposal, however, so be sure to have them before buying the ring.

There are a lot of questions you and your partner should discuss before getting engaged. What kind of wedding do you want? What is your financial situation? Where do you want to live? These questions help you get on the same page before marriage.

2. Reflect on Your Individual Feelings

When you have that big marriage conversation with your significant other, they’ll talk about their feelings and ask how you feel, too.

If you’re the one proposing, think about things that are meaningful to your relationship. When you get down on one knee, what will you say? While you can research some inspiration, try to speak from the heart. The proposal should reflect your love for your partner, so make it personal and genuine.

3. Browse Rings Together

Movies make it seem like one partner walks into a jewelry store, spots the perfect ring and leaves confidently. When you’re browsing in real life, you’ll see a variety of styles, and it might feel overwhelming. Make the process easier by looking at engagement rings online or in person with your partner. It’s the ultimate opportunity to note their jewelry style or discuss your own if you’re hoping they propose to you.

As you’re looking at rings, consider the diamonds carefully. People use the four C’s to evaluate a diamond’s worth and appearance, which include:

• Cut: The specific shape of the diamond
• Color: The hue from colorless to light yellow or other hues
• Clarity: The visual clarity within the diamond based on its microscopic carbon dot inclusions
• Carat: The weight of the diamond, described in points

Talking about ring preferences before your proposal might seem like it could take the magical moment away, but it only makes it better. You’ll get a ring you and your partner adore, so there’s no chance of exchanging it for something else after your proposal.

4. Compare Options Together

Does your future fiance value the price of a diamond? Do they not care about the price tag? Visit jewelry stores and browse online shops to ensure your budgetary visions match. You can also throw around ideas like ordering something handmade by a local artist or getting a budget-friendly option for less than $100.

People sometimes say you should spend three months’ income on your partner’s engagement ring. While that might have been more manageable in the past, 61% of people don’t agree it’s feasible in today’s economy. You’ll know if you and your lover share the same feelings if you have the conversation while you’re still planning your proposal.

5. Plan the Big Moment

Photo Credit: Katie Corinne Photography

After you’ve bought the ring, it’s time to decide exactly how you’ll propose. For some couples, it may be as simple as going to a nice restaurant and popping the question over dessert. Others may want something even more private, just the two of you at home on your anniversary.

However, don’t be afraid to go bigger. You could plan a trip to a bucket list destination. Who wouldn’t want to get engaged in Greece or the Maldives? If you’re an outdoorsy couple, find the most scenic hiking trail in your area.

You can even go all out with an at-home proposal. Take inspiration from movies by filling your home with candles, rose petals, balloons and other decor to set a romantic scene. You could also do this in a hotel and celebrate by ordering room service.

Here are some additional tips to keep in mind:

• If you’re alone with your partner, set up your phone to take a video of the moment.
• Ask a friend or family member to secretly capture the moment and then take posed photos after the surprise.
• If you’re in a public place, tell your partner you want someone to take a picture, then ask a stranger to take a video instead.
• Subtly hint to your partner to wear something nice if that’s important to them. If your future spouse likes to dress up, take that into consideration and avoid proposing somewhere casual, like on a hike.
• Along with the outfit, your partner may want to have her nails done. Consider teaming up with a friend or relative who can take her to the nail salon before the big day.
• If you’re planning photos, think about what the backdrop will be. Try to position yourselves in front of a scenic background or a plain wall, and make sure there’s no trash or eyesores around.

6. Pick a Date

If you’re the person proposing, contemplate how you’ll choose your proposal date. You might want it to be an upcoming anniversary or a meaningful day in your partner’s life.

Researchers found 37% of engagements in the U.S. happen between November and February, likely due to the holiday season. If your partner would swoon at the idea of receiving their ring in front of family, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah or Christmas celebrations could be among the best dates.

7. Imagine the Story You Want to Tell People

What story do you want to tell people for the rest of your life? Your betrothal becomes a permanent part of your love story, so make it extra special, not only because you and your partner deserve it.

It’s a milestone that should give you butterflies when you reminisce later in life. With enough thought, you’ll plan something that fits your life’s journey together.

8. Consider an Engagement Party

After pulling off the perfect engagement, it’s time to celebrate! While an engagement party is not required, it can be a fun way to kick off the wedding planning process. It’s an opportunity to bring everyone together, show off your ring, tell your proposal story and start thinking about what your wedding will look like.

There’s no one way to throw an engagement party, so you can really personalize it to your preferences. Maybe you just invite your immediate family and closest friends over to you house for a dinner party. You could also combine it with the proposal by renting out a restaurant or event space. Tell your partner you’re going out to dinner, then surprise them with the proposal surrounded by family and friends. Pop the champagne, serve dinner and share in the excitement with everyone you love.

Prepare for Your Engagement and Everything Afterward

Planning a proposal or receiving a ring should be a romantic experience. Talking about all the little details makes any engagement perfect. You and your future fiancé will know you’re on the same page so the entire experience is stress-free.

Author bio: Cora Gold is a wedding writer and editor of Revivalist magazine. She aims to inspire couples to achieve the wedding of their dreams. Connect with Cora on LinkedIn, Pinterest and Twitter.